SHOXX FILE (P.684-685)

I will conquer it! Something like that. (laughs)

I want a child. But it would be scary if it was a person like me°ń I don°«t need that.
When I plan to? Well, now is not the time. (laughs) °ń

I guess I°«ll keep a pet dog. I like Dachshunds, my mother kept one for 15 years, but it recently died.
I said I was going to buy another dog for her, but she said no, that °»If you get a new dog, I will go visit my late dog°«s grave°…, she was against it.
But°ń I know I doesn°«t seem like me, but I love to help people. I really don°«t seem to, right? I just don°«t have persuasive power (laughs).

If someone hangs out with me, they°«ll soon notice I°«m the type to do anything and everything for them.
So, if I get a dog, first I would get it trained then bring it to the studio with me, it would be there in the middle of recording°ń
Just°ń Traveling to Japan and elsewhere would be difficult. But, I°«ll keep a dog. I°«m looking forward to it.

I love cars. I drive almost every day here(in L.A.).
I°«m the type not to go driving recklessly.
But, I won°«t drive if I drink (bitter smile).
If that happens, I°«ll even go home walking. Just because it°«s too much trouble if you drive drunk.
'Don°«t drink, if you drink.°« It°«s like that (laughs). That°«s what a friend told me.

When I sleep, I don°«t think I have any good dreams°ń
When I sleep, I sleep talk in english. That means I°«m probably dreaming about recording? (laughs)

I guess this is what you need, when you have a dream and you want to make your dream closer to become reality.

Hahaha (laughs).
°ń I don°«t know. But ok. I pass this question.

In the past, I really loved things like computer games°ń I°«m the kind to get into them easily.
If I start playing one, I won°«t stop until I can finish it.
That°«s why I avoid them. As much as possible, I keep games far away from me. (laughs)

I like doing the laundry or cleaning the house, but I won°«t cook or wash the dishes.
Even if I want to cook for a girlfriend or a friend, I will call a cook to do it.
But there°«s a reason why I won°«t cook. For the piano, right? I was always being told °»Don°«t use your hands for some things°….
So, since in the past, I couldn°«t hold a knife so I didn°«t cook°ń
But, because I was always getting in fights, that was a contradiction. (laughs)

Whether inspiration is strong or not, I don°«t know. But, I do whatever I believe in.
Well, in a good way°ń
Whenever I see something and think that I want to do something in a way, it becomes an image in my mind.
°»This should be done in this way°…, and then I do it in reality.
As for time, sometimes it can take a few hours to one year later, or maybe 10 years later.

You know, before our debut, when I was interviewed I used to say, °»Yeah, I°«ll perform at Tokyo Dome°…. And it became an image in my mind.
People probably thought, °»Don°«t say dumb things°…, but I thought that I could do anything°ń
And, that was before when we performed at Shibuya Koukaidou.
Even today, I don°«t think there is anything I can°«t do. But I don°«t have a goal.
It°«s not that reality is deceiving but just that it°«s too much effort. If I decide I°«ll do something, I don°«t think about the means°ń
If it doesn°«t hurt anyone, I°«ll do anything. Then, it will certainly happen.

I don°«t think what I do now is a job°ń People often say stuff like, °»What are you doing at work today?°…, and I think about it.
I don°«t like the way the word sounds. I was a waiter when I was around 19, and it was fun in a way. So, it doesn°«t feel like it°«s work°ń
In America, when I hear the word °∆job°« it often reminds me of things like, employment problem, economical prospect...(bitter smile)

First, °∆Binran°«(disorder).

Then°ń °∆Krueger°«(laughs).
In english, isn°«t there something like, °»let°«s get ready°…? The normal reply to that would be °»ready°…, but some times people joke and say °∆ready freddy°«.
You can understand the meaning only from °∆freddy°« but I like to add °∆krueger°« to mine.
Wasn°«t that from the °∆Nightmare on Elm Street°« movie?
Among my friends, they say °∆ready°«, but without °∆freddy°« they say °∆krueger°« after.
But now, I am propagating this in America. My new saying. If there°«s an opposition, they will say °∆freddie mercury°«. Then that°«s not funny.
Maybe the definition of °∆freddy krueger°« will be added in the dictionary in 1998. If you hear it anywhere, I invented it. (laughs)

Last year(1995), during the Dahlia tour at the Osaka castle hall, and Sendai got canceled, I got a letter from a fan°«s child.
The contents were very severe, like,
°»Because of Yoshiki, I can°«t go see X°… and so on°ń
°»Do you know how important the Sendai concert was for us? No matter in what condition you were, you should have played. Aren°«t you a pro?°…

When I read the letter, at first I was surprised, it moved me.
Of course I had hurt feelings about it too.., well, extremely, I think.
That°«s when I started to think about the meaning of the word °∆professional°«.
Doesn°«t it mean starting a concert on time?
Doesn°«t it mean that you have to do well, choosing what you put on your schedule and doing well at what you do at your record company?
If these things mean being a °∆pro°«, then I am truly not a pro and I have no desire to become a pro.

Of course, I don°«t want to cause trouble for anyone, but a lot of things happen behind the scenes°ń
For example, the stage set was delayed so there was delayed rehearsal.
If everything was my fault, it would be much better°ń
Like, if something happened, everyone would be quick to say, °»That°«s because Yoshiki is so selfish°…, or something.
Thinking about it, there was an occasion something like this happened.
But to talk about °∆letter°«, the topic went to this.

Marriage°ń I have an interest in marriage, but I will probably never get married.
The person who I would get married to would probably get their feelings hurt because of it.
I wouldn°«t be at home. And whenever I'd have an idea for a song, I would have to stop everything and go work, I think.
But I have a feeling I would like to get married°ń I don°«t know. (laughs)

For 3 years, I haven°«t read any japanese works. Maybe only once in these 3 years.
In the past, my acquaintances would ask me to comment on their first publications.
Well, I read english novels, but it°«s so hard. In the past, I really liked history. So I like to compare Japan°«s and Europe°«s history.
For example, when it was the Edo period in Japan, In Europe, that mean Bach was already a musician.
Japan had a very large door closed in the past, right. Hasn°«t it been only 50 years since World War II?
If I were born 100 years ago, I would probably have a completely different life.
A lot of people might have wanted to make music and literature, but because of the situation of the time, they couldn°«t express what they wanted well, I think.
When I was comparing that, I thought °»What freedom we have°…°ń Well, to an extent, there are constraints, but nothing without consent.

Now, there isn°«t one. There is an environment I long for. But it°«s fairly tangible.
You see, I like tigers. I would like a meeting room to have one tiger and two black panthers. (laughs)

A circular room that would be surrounded in glass, and that would have a radius of 10 meters and a complete furniture set, a bar close to the windows.
And then, around the rooms, there would be the tiger and panthers just wandering.
Like, a reverse zoo. They would be looking at us. Of course, they would have an exclusive pathway door, and they would have someone to take care of them.
In that meeting room, I want to read and sign contracts with recording companies! (laughs)

I love tigers and since I was a child, I liked animals. At school I used to investigate what animal was the strongest.
But everyone just said °»the lion is the strongest°….
But lions are strong when they are in groups, so practically, tigers are the strongest.
And with that I became interested in tigers. But it°«s said that, with however much affection you keep a tiger, they will always return to wildness.
But, I don°«t want to believe in that.
I always wanted a tiger, since I was a child, and if I had one, I would try to raise it with all affection.
And even if it wanted to eat me I wouldn°«t mind.
Not as a °∆gamble°«, but I would like to try and see if that°«s true.

In the past I used to say to my mother °»I want a tiger°…, and she said °»why are you not content with a cat that looks like a tiger?°…
°ń I want a tiger, it is one of my dreams.

I feel like as if my own existence is a question itself.

I like rock. But I get irritated when people define it like °»Rock is this°… or °»Rock isn°«t like this°….
It is a thing of atmosphere and energy, I think.

Because of my nature, nothing causes too much of a shock for me. I don°«t think there is anything that made me shocked recently.

There°«s many places I have been to°ń But I want to travel alone.
What I like is the sea. Originally, I am from a coastal town, and even when I was in school, I always went to the sea when I was coming back home.
Saying that, it doesn°«t mean I like places like Venice or Waikiki Beach.
Ah, I want to go to the moon! I°«d like to go before I die. But, what°«s the possibility?

(When he says that, a staff member starts talking to him in english) °ń

He(staff) says that there is a possibility to go to the moon, in maybe 10 years. It°«s a very expensive thing, but I want to go. Going to the moon, I would like to see the Earth from there.

I like underwear, but don°«t consider myself to be a pervert(laughs). I like men and women°«s underwear. So much that I produced a line of women°«s underwear. Isn°«t it cool that you can°«t see it, but it°«s still fashionable? I would like to give them as a gift to a woman. And°ń I have a lot of underwear. (laughs) Various kinds of them. And speaking of color, of course I like black.

Towards things, I don°«t have a lot of sense of value°ń But to relationships, I do feel value to them.

There are brands I like, but I like fashion itself a lot. I love seeing fashion magazines like american and italian Vogue.
When I am wearing something, I follow a certain path, as always.

I love Christmas. (laughs)
Last year(1995), a very strange thing happened. Maybe you won°«t believe it°ń There was a christmas eve live at Osaka castle hall, wasn°«t it?
One week before, I collapsed at the Sendai live, but after taking a intravenous drip, I could perform safely, right?
Then, I went back to my hotel room, and my english teacher was there too.
At 12:30 I had a 2 hour english lesson. After that, I thought I would go take a bath, but I just fell on the bed and slept.

Then, a little before 6 in the morning, I woke up with the sound of water.
When I looked outside, snow was falling. But, what amazed me°ń
Is that when I woke up from bed, the bath was overflowing with water, and outside the window it was just all white.
I was on the highest room of a tall building. So I couldn°«t open the window°ń

But outside, at the veranda, there was an owl. A white owl with black spots, looking at me.
In that moment, I thought, °»I died and am now at another place°….
I was always looking at the owl, for the 5 minutes it was there and then flew away.
°»What was that about°…, I thought. I even slapped myself in the face a few times.
Then, I went to the bath, at around 7 in the morning and went to sleep again, properly.

I woke up at 10, and while I was going by car to the airport, I talked to the staff about it and none of them believed me.
But°ń I°«m sure it wasn°«t a dream! It really happened.
And it was a lovely Christmas.

Somehow, I am reminded of hide. (laughs)
He°«s the oldest of us, right? Talking detailedly about birthdays, I am the second younger of everyone.
I°«m always treating Toshi and Pata and Hide like older people, but the oldest of us is Hide.
At the time of his 30th birthday, he was always laughing and saying °»Ah, I°«m already old now°…. (laughs)

That°«s how I used to feel in relation to all of the things I did until now, but I don°«t have regrets for anything.
I won°«t say °∆everything just returned to nothing, I have to do it again°«°ń
For some reason, I don°«t like the shape of the mathematical number. (laughs)

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