BRAINWASHED - SURVIVING 12 YEARS OF HELL

Translator's Note

This unofficial translation is a labour of intensive love, and it would have never happened without the help and collaboration of my dear friend Bunny. She sent me each page scanned and I translated. Thank you so much, Bunny. I love you and I'm sorry for disappearing, life is hard.

This translation was started a few months after the book's release back in the 27th of July 2014. I may have to check the dates but I remember I spent the end of 2014 and January of 2015 translating, a little every day. Sometimes a lot, starting at night and going until the early hours of morning.

This book is very dear to me. One reason is due to translating - perhaps my biggest accomplishment was to have it featured in an article in the Examiner website in October 2014. The website and article are sadly gone, but I still have the (non-working) URL: examiner.com/article/x-japan-leaves-the-drama-on-stage-at-madison-square

Another reason why the book is important to me, and the biggest reason is the book itself, the meaning it has. When I started translating, a very bleak period in my life was beginning. If it wasn't for this project, I wouldn't have a reason to wake up every day, translating the book gave me a goal, a distraction from the bad things. ToshI tells us the bleakest period in his life, and the knowledge that he survived all of the abuse, anguish, and pain is something that also keeps me going - being a survivor of abuse myself - giving me hope that one day I will also be able to conquer the difficulties I still face today, that there is something good and better to live for at the end of our own personal turmoils.

Like everything in this site, this translation probably needs a revision - there may be a few errors and some lines may read a bit clumsily. When I first posted it to xjapantranslations.com, I acknowledged that I am not in any way eloquent enough to convey the same intensity of the original text. Still, the message is valid and I hope anyone who takes the time to read this flawed translation can absorb the positive message of recovery that ToshI tells us.

Many people left comments back at xjapantranslations.com and I also still save all of them in my email inbox, and I wish that ToshI himself could read them and know that we are so deeply touched by this book.

Thank you for reading.
October 2019

Chapter I
Table of Contents